"And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not." Isaiah 58:11 KJV
I feel closer to God when I am in His perfect will. I can have the nice car and home, and am most appreciative of it too. These human comforts I can not deny, in fact I say hallelujah to them. I want to be pleasing to God. So it is that I found that there is a void within me, when I am not pleasing in God's sight. And I desperately want to be pleasing in His sight. I absolutely abhor that void feeling. What does this void feel like someone once asked of me.
I liken the experience as to walking a alone and narrow path. While walking “the path,” I am overwhelmed with the need (for that is really what it is) to express how I am feeling. I look around and there is no one there. A take notice of the distance that I have covered and my soul, as the old gospel hymn says “look back and wonder how I made it over.” Hum, it is funny how you can linger over something for too long. You begin to see things that are not there. False images. I thought I saw something that was not there many times.
I resolved to not look back. I did however hazard many looks to the left.Looking at the other side I was greeted with the plushness of soft green grass. It's greenness was a magnificent sight to be hold. Its beauty was calling out to me. I know the path of righteousness is my destined path, but did have to be so hard and so lonely at times. And sooooo long? Really do this path ever ends? The green grass was enticing. The beauty of it was pulling at the void within me, beckoning me to cross over. And I wanted to answer its summons.
Certainly a moment on the other side won't hurt me? Just one moment in time. As I thought this, something within stirred to life. Instinctively I knew that something was amiss. I 've long since learned not to ignore the warning from within. One moment in time, is all it takes for a life time mistake. I try to keep the balance. I try to do what God has mandated for me to do as He awards my sacrifices and obedience.
I openly confess that several times I have allowed my wants to over ride His wants for me and lets just say somethings that can be prevented. I did not necessarily had to experience unnecessary angst and hurts. Alas experience, one of the greatest teachers in life, has also taught me that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I know it is God's will to satisfy my soul and make me fat with love and happiness. And on this path that I trod; He shall never leave me nor forsaken me, as He teaches me.
So it is that I purpose in my heart to let the perfect will of God become a constant in my life. I may not cross every t or dot every i. But I sure am going to try and give it the best that I've got!